Searching for My Voice…..

Well hello all, I have had the damnedest time trying to find my inner voice and write something worth it’s weight in gold, but I have been a little on the down side because of all the things going on in my life.  I have been wanting to contact you all and let you know how things have been going, but I just couldn’t due to the fact that my emotions have been bottled up inside of me.

I know that writing you all now is starting to loosen whatever had its claws in me and I’m starting to let flow of energy I’ve had inside me for so long.  I have begun to second think myself and my topics I want to discuss with all of you, but I would say “they would like that, or they wouldn’t understand it”.  I know I shouldn’t be taking away credit from you guys.  I’m just feeling it out again, getting a taste for what I once was.  Before, I just didn’t give a fuck and let it all out.  Well, it seems that I hurt some folks along the way and that affected me in a particular way.  It made me feel like what I said or wrote had an effect on other peoples lives.

It was like the lightbulb going off and I started to think for good or bad I had to let the world know how I felt or at least the 10-20 people who follow my blogs daily.  I know I have lost some of you, but I promise I will be bringing back that real shit like only you know.  See, there’s a flip side to me not blogging about what I want to and caring about others people feeling and that is, if I don’t express myself totally and fully, then I will be on the losing side because all of those feelings and emotions will  be confined to the point of an explosion that I can’t control.  What people don’t know about me is that I love hard, I live hard and I will probably die hard and that’s not to say that I am hard.  If I love you, I love you 100%, If I dislike you it’s going to be 100%, there’s no in between.  So there it is on a silver platter and either you roll with it or get rolled over.  Damn, I’m coming around real fast, huh?  Peace.

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One Response to “Searching for My Voice…..”

  1. I miss you Steve, reading this post takes me back to a time when I could come to you and talk and you’d always keep it real with me whether it stung or not. I understand what you mean about blogging, i’ve been there before and not having the internet prohibits me from being able to blog the way i’d like to. In terms of the things you’ve been going through, I hope things are better soon, i’ll keep you in my prayers.

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